Dawn of the Clouds

Different people,
Have different characters,
Different people,
Choose to love or hate embers.
Still,
One’s hate or love,
is their will
a focus on “a stuff”.
How do our will,
Differ with love or hate,
when even melted steel,
will not change its state.
Show me your will,
if you want me dear,
Show me your will,
if you’re loveliest person here.
Poof! Time is out,
You are no longer in love or hate,
I saw your will clear and heard it loud,
After I attended your masquerade.
Goodbye my heart,
Goodnight my love,
Good morning hatred,
Welcome to my loveless world.
Where all love and sadness are hidden,
Where all happiness and joy are thrown
into the abyss but not smitten,
by any form of relationship
once renown.

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White Dream

It sure is a chilly night,
hope the bed bug won’t bite,
you will dream that life is white,
just stay asleep through the night.

Close your eyes dear,
and set your mind free,
there lies a path that is clear,
there the dream shall start underneath a tree.

It is warm, it is red, and it is me,
we shall lie in the beat of two,
the sweet lullaby is now sang to me,
and I shall then hum the same tune too.

As we are about to share the twilight kiss
where white is no longer white,
do not be sad and enjoy the bliss
of being still and I will hold you tight.

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The 5 things

Hello! So its been a year I guess. As per the headline, lets make it quick on the 5 things that I think its good to share on.

Number one: I do not take advice from people who have not been in the situations or problems I am dealing with. Because they tend to give me things they thought would do best on me; which is so wrong; rather than to place themselves in my shoes and try to figure out things from here.

Number two: I dislike some girls who keep on complaining about their ages once they turn into twenty. Your life span not gonna end at twenty, as long as you stay away from drugs and harmful chemicals, you are safe. Twenty is just a number, and I don’t see anything wrong by being a woman and a grown up young lady. Wake up, it’s time to say bye-bye to your sweet seventeenths.

Number three: Just because you are annoyed and mad at someone, it does not mean that you have the right to channel your annoyance to everyone who happens to unfortunately bump into you. If you do not want to get easily annoyed, stop acting like you are the keepers of everyone’s diary and journal.

Number four: I hate smokers. Not because they smoke, but because they let others to inhale the 250 harmful secretions and contribute to hundreds of death due to cancers. I do not campaign them to quit smoking, though that is my real intention. I just want them to consider exhaling out their cigarettes smoke in public.

Number five: I am paranoid. I know how to handle my paranoia without firing bullets of words to anyone. Everybody has the tendency to get paranoid. That’s not your faults. Whenever I am offended by someone, I don’t go selling my words to everyone to hate him/her. I cry, weep and write everything down. Because I never sure whether they are talking about me or somebody else. Know how to handle your paranoia, because you do not want others to be paranoid as well.

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Murder

Stab every corner of my heart
And play me a Mozart
Rip me open from the inside
Leave me at the bedside
Run over me with your Camaro
As I pray for tomorrow
Strangle me in Venus
While I muffle in emptiness
I lost my sanity
When you cage me with anxiety

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Remembering you...

This morning

I dreamt about you

Moved on, this journeyman does

Sweet scents never fade away

This morning

I wake up

Searching for you

since the world isn’t so vast

like the last time

when you loved this man

This morning yet

I am happy to the fullest

I have found you...

in the form of

poetry and memories

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Plants and flowers

perfume, he reminds me of

a spicey scent, it breathes into me

like how lovers bend…

lovers bend like plants and flowers

sprawled on a stained bed-

he told me he loved me-

but now he is dead-

touch, he adores me of

so much intent, content, it stalks me by wire

like how lovers grow 

and so they grow like fire..

they grow like plants and flowers

garnished on black soil -is his skin-

he told me he’ll never leave me

but now he’s buried in-between-

chillis, hot(knot)-tongued squeezing

through and through,

like how lovers entangle..and those lovers they entangle

under sky blue

they tangle like plants and flowers

eating each other alive

he told me “kiss me”

then borned a double-edged knife-

those lovers they bend

those lovers like fire

those lovers they tangle

those lovers… conspire

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Rants

Everything takes patience now. Got my first wage. Feel proud of self haha. Still. I ain't buyin anything yet. Coz I havta use it for my next plan and stuffs. Not gonna work for the rest of my life so I will make sure to be organized and systematic in my future plans (may Allah ease). Feels like after this I need to start bringing food from home instead. But always tempted to buy takeouts. But yeah.. hoping that this time I won't have problems with salaries anymore. Hope that I will get my next pay on time and stuff. Hope that things go well. I won't have anything much left. So, yeah. Patience. Be patient is not easy. But I need to suck all the patience in and refrain from buying the things I want.

But food? Food is essential too :)

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It’s that fear of…

It’s that fear of sadness and being sad
It’s that fear of being disappointed
It’s that fear of expecting too much after telling yourself not to
It’s that fear of seeing the people you love walk away from you
It’s that fear of loneliness despite the noisiness
It’s that fear of having yourself hurt
It’s that fear of wanting something but not knowing what it is
It’s that fear of having your heart breaks and broken
It’s that fear of having to pick yourself up
It’s that fear of having to walk in bruises
It’s that fear of telling yourself, “Time will heal”
It’s that fear of keeping things to yourself
It’s that fear of having to put up lies, “I’m fine. Thank you.”
It’s that fear of having to weep until you sleep
It’s that fear of forcing yourself to be busy just to make your brain forget
It’s that fear of believing that you don’t deserve to be happy
It’s that fear of growing old alone
It’s that fear of choosing to live in denial over realities
It’s that fear of wondering if you can even love again
It’s that fear of despising romantic love stories and songs
It’s that fear of being loved

Because you fear that you might not be able to return the love
Because you’re not sure if there’s still love left for you to give
Or because you have forgotten how love feels like
Or because you pretend to forget how love feels like
So that if it breaks you, you can pretend that it’s none of your business.

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