Rants

Everything takes patience now. Got my first wage. Feel proud of self haha. Still. I ain't buyin anything yet. Coz I havta use it for my next plan and stuffs. Not gonna work for the rest of my life so I will make sure to be organized and systematic in my future plans (may Allah ease). Feels like after this I need to start bringing food from home instead. But always tempted to buy takeouts. But yeah.. hoping that this time I won't have problems with salaries anymore. Hope that I will get my next pay on time and stuff. Hope that things go well. I won't have anything much left. So, yeah. Patience. Be patient is not easy. But I need to suck all the patience in and refrain from buying the things I want.

But food? Food is essential too :)

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It’s that fear of…

It’s that fear of sadness and being sad
It’s that fear of being disappointed
It’s that fear of expecting too much after telling yourself not to
It’s that fear of seeing the people you love walk away from you
It’s that fear of loneliness despite the noisiness
It’s that fear of having yourself hurt
It’s that fear of wanting something but not knowing what it is
It’s that fear of having your heart breaks and broken
It’s that fear of having to pick yourself up
It’s that fear of having to walk in bruises
It’s that fear of telling yourself, “Time will heal”
It’s that fear of keeping things to yourself
It’s that fear of having to put up lies, “I’m fine. Thank you.”
It’s that fear of having to weep until you sleep
It’s that fear of forcing yourself to be busy just to make your brain forget
It’s that fear of believing that you don’t deserve to be happy
It’s that fear of growing old alone
It’s that fear of choosing to live in denial over realities
It’s that fear of wondering if you can even love again
It’s that fear of despising romantic love stories and songs
It’s that fear of being loved

Because you fear that you might not be able to return the love
Because you’re not sure if there’s still love left for you to give
Or because you have forgotten how love feels like
Or because you pretend to forget how love feels like
So that if it breaks you, you can pretend that it’s none of your business.

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Third class mentality guy

Guys talk big about wanting girls who stay when they don't have anything but when he owns everything he leaves the girl and goes for another. God gave you someone who'd go through ups and downs with you once you're on top of the world you forget her. Don't ask who'd stay when you have nothing, ask yourself first if you'd stay when you have everything. okay?

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Him

He’s home yet he is not here,
He’s invisible.
He hears me but he stays mute,
He sees me but he stays blind.
He’s the one soul I could not catch,
He’s the spirit that walks through me.
He turns strong by turning me weak,
He’s gone whenever I seek
him.

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