February 12, 2013

Typical minded seriously should be change

Sometimes, you just plain tired of hearing people comments and remarks once they get to know that you are currently pursuing your study in English Linguistic & Literature courses. Some people, yes they do have a good perception with people like us but others simply underestimate us. 

Kau pernah belajar bersungguh-sungguh, tanam cita tinggi-tinggi dan capai keputusan yang cemerlang tapi kau ada rasa kekurangan, seolah-olah kau tak rasa cukup puas dengan apa yang kau buat? itu lah apa yang aku rasa masa habis SPM. Dengan keputusan 9A 1B, mestilah kau akan pikir, tentunya lagi baik pursue courses yang dikira 'bagus' dan 'hebat' macam Engineering, Medic, Architecture, Biotech dan seangkatan dengannya. tapi apesal aku still rasa aku ni loser? 

N the fact yang kau merupakan seorang bekas pelajar yang memang sudah ditanam dengan satu pemikiran yang kau dikira berjaya dengan berapa banyak As kau dapat capai dalam SPM, berapa banyak aktiviti koko yang kau masuk, n berapa banyak jawatan yang kau pegang. Kemudian, kejayaan kau akan nampak lagi gah kalau kau berjaya dapat tajaan, pergi luar negara takpon still belajar dalam negara tapi berjaya enroll universiti bagus bagus. pastu nak nak pulak kau amek course yang gah gah basically Science stream & yang dianggap susah n menjamin kerjaya mantap setelah kau graduate lagi lah kau dipandang tinggi. itulah mindset time belaja kat dulu, seriusss. tapi aku rasa mindset ni bukan tertakluk kat sekolah je, dia dah berjangkit kat seluruh Malaysia.

N you know what? To the hell with that! nak tahu ape itu benar benar kejayaan? 

kau buat apa yang kau cinta.
kau belajar apa yang kau minat.
kau hayati ilmu yang memberi kau pengetahuan tentang sesuatu yang baru,
tapi ilmu tu juga beri kau peringatan tentang sesuatu yang kau dah tahu, tapi dah lupa,
kau tahu tapi kurang sedar dan tak selalu beri perhatian.

kita bila belajar, belajar tu kena datang dari hati.
dari denyut nadi yang tak henti mengalirkan darah ke seluruh tubuh kita.
bukan hanya guna kepala otak kita yang bukannya all the time betul pon.
kena guna hati sekali, guna perasaan, guna emosi.

mengejar ilmu itu indah, sangat indah sebenarnya.
sebab ilmu itu mampu gegar kan seluruh naluri kau.
sebab ilmu itu mampu buat kau terkesima
sebab ilmu itu buat kau sedar, 
besar mana kau,
hebat mana kau,
kaya mana kau,
fofuler mana kau,
pandai mana kau,
kau tu sebenarnya besar daki je kat badan orang obese yang beratnya beratus kilogram.

dalam ilmu tu, kau jangan tengok yang zahirnya sahaja.
kalau kau betul teliti, kau hayati kacantikannya,
masa kau baca baris2 ayat buku teks Sociology tu,
kau boleh mengalirkan air mata *touching sorang sorang la ni kiranya*
sebab kau terharu,
kau terpana,
dengan maksud mendalam yang lain yang ada kat situ.

ilmu itu buat kau menilai kehidupan dari persepektif yang berbeza.
mungkin cara kau tengok dengan cara aku tengok life tu lain.
tapi apa yang sama adalah keindahannya, kecantikannya.
macam mana dia sentuh hati kau sebagai seorang manusia.
dan akhir sekali macam mana dia bawa kau ke arah cinta 
yang paling agung,
yang paling hakiki,
yang paling indah,
tak lain tak bukan cinta pada Allah swt.



ini yang aku nak sebenarnya. 
ini yang aku cari selama ni.

At least aku boleh cakap, 
aku enjoy apa yang aku belajar sekarang,
aku minat apa yang aku belajar sekarang,
aku cinta apa yang aku belajar sekarang.

kalau aku diberi peluang untuk patah balik semula,
aku masih ambil jalan ini.







sekian, tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke negeri China. ;)

February 10, 2013

Real Life

Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more that that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.

I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back, regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say "I love you." When we should've said "I'm Sorry." When we didn't stand up for ourselves or some one who needed help.

February 5, 2013

Today

           I bumped into him on my way to class today. The sun shone so brightly that he looked as if he was sparkling under it. His messy hair, broad shoulders and dark eyes were like a set of Cartier in a glass box with lights focusing on it. Well, he always looks good. Be it under the sun or in the mud. Honestly, I love the days where I’ll run into him, dressing presumably nicely, and him in his pilot-ish uniform. I noticed that his cheeks are chubbier. I assumed he's eating well. So, that's good. I didn't realize that I was staring at him for quite a long time until he cast me a polite smile.  That awkward smile, an acknowledgment of how we actually know each other, however not that close, only from a number of mutual friends.

Sayangnya.

            I've always wanted to keep that very smile curves up on his face every day. Always I fantasize myself lulling him whenever unpleasant emotions overwhelm him. For he brings calmness in me. It was stormy before, but at the moment, he's like a soft wind blowing on my face. He does that to me, he always brings peace. And it’s inevitable not to imagine doing things with him, but of course, nothing psychotic or dirty. Maybe it is just us hanging out, almost no talking but silently enjoying the awaken sun after a long rain.

Sayangnya.

             We never really have the chance to say “It’s nice meeting you”. Quickly, I just smiled back at him. A smile of I Wish You Every Happiness in which I believe didn't look anything like it. Then, we went separate ways. That was when my key chain broke off from the ring connected to my bag. It fell down and made a sharp sound as it touched the marble floor. I turned around to get my key chain  The place that day was very quiet and almost vacant. There was nobody. He’s gone. Heh. Somebody sure walk fast.

Then I thought, Sayangnya.

              He's not superior to me now. He doesn't cause my cheeks to go warm anymore. He doesn't cause my heart to go chaotic too. Somehow, though, I do admit that he will never be forgotten. Then I heard the lift went, “Second Floor, ding!” and I continued my pace to class. True, it was just a nice day.