It just fun to write without being interrupted

March 10, 2015

Parts of my mind

Recently, I got burned and it really taught me a lot. It really got me thinking and made me look deep. We live in such a photoshopped world! It has really started to hurt my heart. Its like we all have to be so perfectly manicured. Every hair perfectly placed. And God forbid if we have blemish or two or five!  And don't even begin to talk things like scars or stretch marks!

Ive started to wonder- where are the people who still appreciate any humanness? Where are the ones still comfortable with the not-so-perfect, messy parts of life? The messy parts of each other? Just the real, flaws and all...

I have begun to fell more and more that it is a dying breed.

And that breaks my heart...
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March 9, 2015

Girlfriend


Good friend are like stars, you don't always see them. But you know they're always there :)

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March 3, 2015

Puzzle


When we were born, we were an incomplete puzzle. Love and whatnot filled us up with a few pieces but throughout the years of growing up, a rascal, maybe two or three, took some of those pieces out of us. And we would continuously try to fill each vacant spaces with new ones but people would continuously rule them out. But we never give up to fill those empty spaces until at one point in our lives, we found someone that we thought would finally make our puzzles complete, but being more powerful than those rascals, this particular one ravaged the puzzle, scratching each and everything, tearing us into bits, threw us, smashed us with no slight mercy and left us lied by our own thoughts and feelings. And just like before, we would fix the puzzle again and again and again but, we stayed like that forever, forever an incomplete puzzle...

till the moment of our passing
till the last of our breath.
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February 10, 2015

Silver Lining

Braaaaaaaaanngggggggbufffffggghhhhh!

              The majestic vein-like lights started to roam the darkened sky. Slowly, the dry pavements began to wet with little raindrops. Drip upon drip they sent shivers to her weak bones. The silhouette of big trees opposite her house swung from right to left. The clouds were having a war again. The glass window was wet washed up by heavy rain. Her vision became a blur. She wiped the glass window repeatedly though she knew already that the blurriness would not go away. All she saw then were bright lights from the streets and heard the swish of tires against the tarred roads. She put her paw against the window pane. It felt cold. The glass window was smooth compared to the rough tarred road. She remembered the revolting greenish slime under her paws before. The colour never seemed to vanish even until today.  However, she was glad that the smell had gone. The mixed odour of wet garbage, mud, grass, blood and rotten food; they smelled of desolation and disgrace. It was horrific. She loved the rain though. It had this wonderful distinct smell that always seemed to soothe her unsettled heart. The every drip of it that fell onto a solid object played a rhythm of life. Drip, drip, drip, her soul waltzed to it. Drip, drip, drip, her body felt light.

              Her eyes slowly shutting as her head rested onto her paws. Suddenly, a bright light flashed before her eyes. A small vehicle stopped on the side of the road. A little boy ran out of the car and disappeared into the tall grass among the big trees. Soon, he went out with a small animal in his arms. It was a very small kitten. She wondered how the little boy managed to see that tiny creature since it was quite dark and rainy. She couldn’t figure out the mystery very well as heavy breath rose slowly from her chest. She thought maybe children do have mysterious instincts. Their pure hearts could always see what we could not. The rain was stopping.

              The little boy hugged the kitten tightly and his parents patted on his back like a congratulate gesture. She stared out to the boy as he wrapped the little kitten with his sweater. She also saw him wiping the little kitten’s paws with it. She looked down to hers.  A few thin furs surrounded the window seat. Her head felt heaviness so she rested it onto her paws. Little by little, the sun peeked out from behind the big trees. She saw the boy bringing the kitten into the car. The kitten looked a bit weak but she knew that it would be given a home where it could grow healthy and strong. Her gaze steadied onto the new family then her eyes began to shut tight. Now, all she could hear was the vehicle driving off. The rainwater from the tiny hanging orchid pots fell onto a broken stool outside the window. Drip, drip, drip, it played the rhythm of life. Drip, drip, drip, the raindrop fell and her pulse danced slowly to it. She felt glad that a soul was saved that day. She felt fortunate to have witnessed such wonderful event. Drip, drip, drip, the raindrop fell like a tick of a clock. Her breath drew heavier, her heartbeat stopped then she fell into eternal darkness. No raindrops were heard ever since.
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February 1, 2015

Reads



When you read a book, not a particularly ordinary book in this case. And each words written there seems to be etched upon your skins of thoughts. You mind scarred with its beauty, aching for more, craving to have written in equal aesthetic quality.

I can't help myself from stopping for a while, to gulp the fluid of words down my throat and move my hand to scribble the torrents down in blank pages. 

Dead men's words have never been so alive, as long as the words he crafted live in the mind of those who reads.


I am intoxicated beyond words and strings of alphabets. 
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January 21, 2015

None

I speak Sin,
I walk Sin,
I touch Sin,
How can I ever dare to have such wishful thoughts
Of being by Your side?
When with every blink of my eyes
that hope to see glimpses of perfections,
I can only see idiotic flaws
that make up my existence.
But You,
You forgive,
You accept,
You are the most perfect
of all perfections.
And so for Your love,
I harbour this longing
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January 2, 2015

What a messy day. Or Im too careless

Hello there little fellas, how have you been?

To be perfectly honest, my life now is more kinda like a huge pile of clothes waiting to be folded where you can't simply find a bit of your time to fold them down though the very sight of such piles are a great eyesores to you. To make matter worse, the piles seems to add up every seconds. So now you are not only left with a pile, but also a few more piles in waiting queue! Yep, that's right, that appropriately what my life has been for the time being.


I seriously need an escape, a true escape where you gone to foreign land and discover new things there. I initially thought that I might succeed in escaping my responsibilities as a student by going back to my house every day but that doesn't seems to work. Home is like a nest, a sanctuary for this restless and messed up mind. However my commitments had enforced me to go back to the hustle bustle of undergrads and I had been going to and fro from home to my uni everyday this week. How I wish time will magically stops so I can work my way for a while before I push the play button again. 

Whatever it is, I am terribly sorry if I've been too messed up that I might miss you out and don't stop for a chat like I usually do. I'm sorry for not showing up a genuine smile upon my face, for not being all giddy and excited, for being silent rather that being all chatty like  my usual self. 

I can't even took a deep breath. Literally! 

Things, fortunately, are beginning to slow down now, thank Allah! Perhaps because I finally managed to sit down and having it all figured out. At least, despite all the waiting list of works and happenings this month, everything was finally sorted out and organised so I can settle things down one by one. Hope all is well then. Good day!


p/s: I've lost my laptop during my busy course of life. He has been there for me as He has always been. So, it's okay then. After all, He is always there for us, isn't it? :)

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December 28, 2014

Ajarkan aku


Bawakan aku terus pada kamu
Jangan dekati aku dengan mereka

Ajarkan aku cinta
Ajarkan aku pahit di sini
Ajarkan aku manis di sana
Ajarkan aku pada keindahan
pada percikan warna dan udara yang kau hembuskan
Ajarkan aku pada kesengsaraan
pada hati hati buta yang butuh diperingatkan

Jika aku jatuh lagi, 
tersisir jauh dari pandangan itu
desir kecil aku harap kau kalihkan mataku ke situ

Bukan niatku untuk meminta tapi ini harapan kecil aku yang kerdil kerana aku tahu, kau tidak pernah mengecewakan. Kau tidak akan mengecewakan. Kau adalah satu satunya yang aku pasti.

Kau adalah kepastian.
Satu satunya kepastian di titik ini.
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