Berlalu

Katanya kita tidak serasi.
Lalu aku berlalu pergi.
Mencari bahagiaku sendiri.
Jauh sudah aku berjalan.
Terasa dipanggil dari kejauhan.
Kau yang pinta aku berlalu,
bila menjauh, kau minta aku mendekat.

Apa yang kau mahu?
Biarkan aku.
Biarkan aku.
Kau dan aku,
katanya tidak mungkin akan bersama.

Jadi,
apa yang kau mahu?
Biarkan aku.
Biarkan aku.
Aku bahagia disini.
Aku bahagia sendiri.

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Feeling and Emotion

Don't be deceived by me, I'm good at wearing mask. 

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DIA yang utama

Salam,

Ada masanya kita terlalu benci, benci pada diri kita. Kalau mahu dicampak kesemua sesalan dahulu, tentu berkerah juga tenaga dan segala kudrat aku. Hitam, aku rasa kalau hati aku warnanya putih, sekarang dah hitam pekat tak terlihat putihnya. Katanya setiap dosa akan menambahkan titik hitam pada hati, nah, nak letak mana lagi titik hitam tu, aku pon dah tak tahu. Sepertinya tiada lagi kesan putih di sini.

Ada kalanya aku harap Tuhan dapat bersihkan semula hati aku, macam Dia cuci hati Rasulullah dulu. Demand sangat nak mintak cuci, padahal tahap kasih pada Tuhan masih belum sampai kesitu. Bila didengarkan kisah-kisah wali yang diceritakan ustaz Arab aku setiap hari khamis semasa di UIA dulu, mahu sahaja aku menangis terus. Jauh, terlalu jauh perjalanan aku. Terlalu banyak menyimpang pun satu.

Terasa sesak juga nafas aku menjalani jalan-jalan tahun ini. Ada juga masa aku tersungkur, terlalu banyak sebenarnya. Tapi Tuhan masih bangunkan aku. Sungguh dia masih disisi. Kalau manusia? Bila kita tersungkur, tidaknya dibantu, malah dimarahkan lagi kerana tidak berhati-hati mengorak langkah.

Tak mengapalah. Dia masih ada bukan?

Itu yang utama bukan?

Tapi...

tamat pada bilanya perjalanan ini, 

aku takkan bersedia, aku tak pernah bersedia.  

Sungguh.

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Boona Mohammed - SIGNS

Let me take a moment to show some kindness, 
To the folks who blindness was a disease that effected the eyes alone,
I promise I won't judge you, I barely know how to love you
And like fools we preach rules, but we don't even follow our own.

Everybody needs comfort,
Some people find it in this; some people find it in that
And some people just don't find it at all.

But this world is full of signs 
From the moon to the stars in the sky
From the bees and the bugs, like a seed in your blood
Like a feen to a drug, makes you need to look up
And questions what's up, why you deal with this stuff?
When your spirits are crushed and you trek through the rough
But like thunder it struck, said "Be" and it was

All the signs that were sent, they finally make sense
You feel the torment, so you need to repent
When your heart is cement, it's hard as a brick
Cause your soul is worth more than the dollars and cents,
All the money in the world couldn't buy you happiness
Cause "verily, it is in the remembrance of Allah, that hearts do find rest"

And do not get it confused,
I'm not a scholar or a preacher
I'm just a regular dude, who makes mistakes too
But we are reflections true, 
So I cant talk about me without talking about you

And who knew?
We would end up in a place so confused
Where little boys wanna be like little girls and little girls just wanna be abused
Where the terrorize the truth, mentally arrest the youth
Even though there is no law but Allahs' and momma didn't raise no fool.

And who knew?
That expecting the world to treat you fairy because you think you're a good person,
Would be a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian,
You can't begin to learn what you think you already know
In mans own ignorance we forgot that women once watched us grow
And before that you were a tiny ball of flesh without any bones
And before that you were just unknown, and now look behold
You have the arrogance to assume that you just made it on your own?
But what were you but a chewed piece of clot, before the grew
And who knew you would trace you ancestry back to a zoo?
You must have really come from apes with your monkey point of views
Even the devil believes in God, so what does that make you?

And it's true
Sometimes I feel like Noah preaching to a packed empty room
Nobody wanna listen until we start rolling out two by two
I'm a big fan of Abraham; never break-up from Jacob
Joseph had the kind of beauty that you couldn't find in makeup
Moses was to Pharaoh what stones are to arrows 
And David to Goliath was truth is to silence
Following, Solomon I'd get down too
Contrary to popular belief, Jesus is my homeboy too.
So peace be upon the whole crew who came to teach what we never knew
Even though few caught the groove, the never turned blue
Never confused what was true even if it was a taboo
Never came for fame or praise but to praise who the prayed too

And who knew?
That an unlettered man from the middle of the desert,
Would change the whole world from darkness into heaven
You may have every title, every big shot degree
But you still can't explain: Alif-Lam-Meem

And who knew?
There would be so many views and way to explain
That he's closer to you than your jugular vein
So if you complain that God must be cruel
Can you give Allah, all that he gives to you?
From the breath that you breath, to the trees that you feed
From the eyes that you see, to the sea that you eat
If I cut you, you bleed, than you heal magically
Were the illest machines, manufactured for means.
The concepts extreme but this world is a dream,
It's not what it seems filled with lies and deceit
The truth is serene so wake up smell the deen
Praises be to He, His Oneness, Supreme
Totally unique, in no need of sleep 
Not like you or me, his greatness complete
No partners, no mates, no father, no sons
No discount 3 in 1, just Allah Azwa Jal
Even the birds sing his name,
The Lord of all the worlds
Glory be to He and to Allah is our return

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I wish

It was 18th of Ramadhan already. 18 days had passed as swiftly as morning breeze that brushed upon your cheeks. How times seems running so fast and how much important things was left undone, wasted for something petty. 

18 days and I look back on how much, no how little I have achieved on this Holy Month.

I'd say if we, start of our life with 100 points and this points are the ones which determined whether we passed to enter Jannah or not. In life, points are added and subtracted, humans are judged by how many points left by the end of his/her life. What if death comes calling for time out, what was left of my points? Will I pass this ultimate test?

If wealth is measured by our Iman & devotions, I'm sure I'm in the state of poverty. It seems to me that I've been lost, blinded by the blinding lights of the worldly things unable to see clearly the beautiful rays of the hereafter. 

How I wish I'd do more.

I wish I am richer in terms of iman & devotions. 

Have blessful Ramadhan,
pray to Allah, do devotions,

forgive & seek forgiveness, 

you'll never now when your life ends.
this is a personal reminder to myself n those who reads.

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Of chaos

In internet world, there's only a few places where I can seek solitude.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Others are just full of bollocks

& pretentious organism which I failed to understand.

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Eat the bitter, spit out the sweet

 

Believe me, young man!

All you need to do

is to breathe in,

and all shall be well.

 

There were times

when the sky seemed so blue, you cried

and all the words that express love, changed

into the hardest ache in your heart.

 

When silence finally breaks in and roars

your head explodes into burdening

unsaid words

Of every thoughts of ifs and whys-

They linger around

poking each of the veins in your brains

seducing you to jump!

Jump and die!

 

Too many memories

Too many things

You’re blinded by the sweet promises

of suicide.

 

But I know you’re aware of the massacre.

It will eat you up and sing you a lullaby,

It will tell you a tale of a young man

with a good end.

 

Lies after lies to guarantee death,

Love is sweet ,

you once said to me,

yet you know now it’s not

as your hands burn and

your eyes shed blood

from holding too long,

hoping too much.

But why love a love that makes you

lost love to love?

Save the shame, my dear

and walk away with pride.

 

Put on your armour and sway your way

towards the garden without killing the white petals

for Love is a two-headed dragon

and you only need to tame one.

 

Believe me, young man!

All you need to do is to breathe in,

eat the bitter, spit out the sweet!

and I promise you that you shall live.

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Insan kerdil

Aku marah,
tatkala dibawanya dia pergi jauh dari aku
Aku marah dan kecewa.

Aku persalahkan semuanya.
Aku mempersoal semuanya.
Mana mungkin dapat ditanggung berkali kali dijauhkan.
berkali kali dipisahkan.
Aku juga mahu gembira
Aku juga mahu tersenyum dan ketawa

Aku marah pada Dia
ternyata buta hati aku waktu itu
ternyata kabur sungguh penglihatan hati ini
ternyata aku sudah dibutakan mata hatinya

Mana mungkin aku sebegini dekat padaMu
Mana mungkin aku sedar harga cinta sebenar
Mana mungkin aku terbangun dari tipuan lena
Jika mataku hanya terpandang pada disini

Disana itu jauh lagi,
tak terbayang indahnya.




Maafkan aku kerana lupa pada Cinta Disana
kerana terlalu mencari cinta di sini.

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